Conscious Dating: An Escape From the Planning Circle

What’s conscious dating? 

The dating scene has changed a lot in recent years. With numerous dating apps claiming that “love is just a click away”, perhaps you’ve begun to believe that this is true. And yet, 100 clicks later, love is nowhere to be found. 

Before you give up on love in frustration, let us ask you one question:

Have you ever stopped at some point and thought about how you evaluate things? 

In today’s fast-moving dating scene (accelerated by the aforementioned dating apps, obviously), it’s important to slow down and start giving more mindful attention to dating. 

Take the time to nurture your self-love and self-awareness by reconnecting with yourself and properly defining your needs, thoughts, and behavioral patterns. When you do this, you will cultivate a better understanding of what you enjoy and what magnifies your energy. 

By slowing down, you will also have the time to discover the person you are dating for who (s)he is instead of following the conceptualizing route and the infinite planning circle that you are probably used to by now.

Conscious dating helps you realize that dating isn’t about not being alone; it’s rather a joyful process of deeply knowing and cherishing yourself and others

When you adopt this conscious dating approach, you will learn to live in the here and now, and to stop using past references or future expectations. Eventually, you will unlearn the old familiar paths. 

With this perspective, there will be no more bad dates – only new chances to grow and learn about what it takes for a long-term commitment. Wouldn’t this be amazing?

Angela Holton, an international coach, explains in her interview on conscious dating with Divine Enthusiast that this happens when dating is considered an educational process about ourselves and others, just like any other type of relationship in our lives. 

Reconnect with yourself before trying to connect with another
Dating can be an educational process

Examples of conscious dating VS unconscious dating

Unconscious dating: You care about how you look on social media. VS Conscious dating: You care about handling big emotions together.

Unconscious dating: Passive presence caused by the phone distractions. VS Conscious dating: Active listening and being present in the moment.

Unconscious dating: Your focus is on future commitment with the person. VS Conscious dating: Your focus is how you currently feel about yourself and the other person.

Unconscious dating: You are looking for someone to save you and complete you. VS Conscious dating: You are looking for mutual healing and inner growth together.

Enjoy the process instead of dwelling in expectations

How to get there?

We understand that if you are used to your old patterns, conscious dating could seem difficult to achieve. But there IS good news!

Conscious dating will come with PRACTICE. Remember, approach dating as an educational process that you can enjoy until you achieve your final target of true and lasting love. 

Until you get there, why not work on some aspects of yourself? Here are some suggestions:

Suggestion 1: Remain open and enjoy the moment consciously. Try to not project yourself on your date and to not feed your expectations after just a few dates. 

Suggestion 2: Have self-confidence but remain humble. Try to prevent yourself from overthinking and seeking validation. 

Suggestion 3: Cherish yourself, the present moment, and the time spent discovering another being.

Dating is a journey, enjoy the ride!  

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